Why You Should Be Honest About What You Want On Dating Apps

Dating apps are a fantastic way to find whatever it is you’re looking for, whether it’s a long-term relationship, casual dating, or just to meet new people.

Unfortunately, some people on dating apps aren’t as honest as they should be.

People want to seem perfect, they’re scared of rejection, and don’t want to expose their true selves.

But the most successful dating app users are actually those who are the most honest.

Badoo analysed 5000 profiles and found that people who revealed niche information about themselves were more popular than those who didn’t.

Honesty can feel like a risk, exposing things we’d rather keep hidden.

In a world where dating is often framed as a competitive sport, honesty can leave us feeling vulnerable. But it’s the only way for us to get what we want.

No one is saying it’s easy to be honest, genuine, and authentic.

We’re living in a world where we’re increasingly seeing polished, idealised people living their best lives on social media and television. Reality TV is a prime example of this.

We’re all guilty of trying to present our best selves all the time.

But that can’t be maintained, especially when we start dating someone who will, in all likelihood, see us at our worst at some point.

People forget that dating is about spending time with a real human being and sharing a genuine connection.

Honesty is how we establish ourselves, it’s how we communicate what we want, and it’s how we should begin a relationship.

Why Honesty Is Important When Dating:

Honesty helps build trust and intimacy - both of which are vital for a healthy relationship.

When we reveal parts of ourselves we keep hidden, that tells our partner that they’re special.

Investing time and energy in someone, being honest and authentic, tells them they’re part of your life, and part of your future plans.

Speaking of future plans, you should probably mention them to whoever you’re dating to see if their plans match up with yours.

If You’re Both Honest About What You Want, You Won’t Waste Each Other’s Time

Different people are often looking for different things.

When we meet someone we like, we often want to spend time with them regardless of whether we’re actually moving in the same direction.

Dating someone who only wants a fling when you want a serious relationship will mean, unless they change their mind, that you ultimately end up wasting your time.

You don’t have to ask about marriage plans on the first date, but at some point early on you need to establish what each of you really want, in general, and from each other.

If after a month it’s clear you’re looking for different things, you can end the relationship amicably, rather than dragging it out for months hoping one of you will change.

If you’re both honest and want the same things, it sets a good precedent for how you handle things further into your relationship.

It Builds Honesty Into The Foundations Of The Relationship

When you’re honest at the start of a relationship, it builds a strong foundation for future honesty down the line.

This removes a large part of future relationship worries, as you know you can trust your partner, and that you’re both looking for the same thing.

Here are some tips on how to be more honest so you get the connections you really want.

How To Be More Honest On Dating Apps:

Ask Yourself What You Really Want From Dating

The first step to being more honest on dating apps is to ask yourself what you really want from your dating life.

Do you want a relationship? A fling? Do you want to enjoy being single? How do you feel about your most recent break-up?

These are all questions you need to ask yourself, and be really, brutally honest with yourself about what you really want.

Being transparent on dating apps also means being open about what you’re looking for, whatever that means for you. Even saying ‘I don’t know what I’m looking for’ is an honest answer.

If you conceal your authentic self then it stands to reason that the people you meet along the way wont be authentic either.

We should be allowing ourselves to own our ‘baggage’ and be proud of what makes us who we are.

Being unapologetically honest is liberating, and is something anyone you’re dating will appreciate.

Ask Your Matches What They’re Looking For

Once you understand what you’re looking for from potential partners, you can begin to ask your matches what they’re looking for.

This ensures everyone is on the same page, and knows what to expect from each other.

There’s nothing worse than not knowing whether you’re in a relationship or not.

By clearly outlining what you’re looking for you can save yourself weeks or even months of uncertainty.

Don’t Be Afraid To Say When Your Needs Change

If you’ve met someone, and things have been going pretty much fine, you might be tempted to just leave things as they are. Why ruin a good thing?

But if, deep down, you know you want something different, you need to be honest with yourself and your partner.

Sometimes a relationship can change when you do this, other times it can’t.

Things change all the time, we shouldn’t cling to relationships if they aren’t what we want anymore.

Trying to protect your partner or your relationship to avoid conflict will ultimately just make things worse - it might hurt, but honesty really is the best policy.